I am reminded by a faithful friend (my husband) that I am very good at talking about the bad things. I hate to emphasize the fact that I can very easily maintain a bad attitude, but there it is. I’m a pessimist. He has also pressed me with the truth of simply trusting God—in the everyday things, to remind myself to trust Him. Many of you who know me well could readily say this has been my issue for far too long. And I suppose it has been. But, despite my stubborn unbelief and my constant wrestling, I have to remember… to trust Him even there. For whatever reason I seem to be taking forever in learning my lesson here. But for whatever reason it’s come to that, and I gotta keep hope: He never lets go. I’m not so easily lost; nothing can separate me from His love; no one and nothing can snatch me from His hand.
So, with all this said, I would now like to write a Christmas tribute of thanksgiving.
My husband is a remarkable man. He is patient, steadfast, willing, and kind. Throughout my scores of complaints, my bouts of verbal turmoil, and, sometimes, my truly needed times of conversational processing, he has stood beside me, offering encouragement and incessantly seeking to point me to the Lord, His trustworthiness and love. I cannot overlook this blessing. God knew how much I needed my husband’s heart and, likewise, his beautiful companionship. I have a man who loves me fervently, despite my many frailties. And this, I know, is from God. Danny Porter was made for me. He is hot. He is a hard-worker, honorable, a deeply caring and sensitive man, and, above all, he is a lover of Jesus. I know that his heart bears sweet testimony of God. I need him. I love him. Thank you for my husband, Jesus.
This season seems to completely illuminate the beautiful family I’ve been given. The sweet friendship God has coupled with my relationship to my parents is so unique and, perhaps, rare. Being away from them for the first time during this tradition and memory-packed holiday, skype has been a lifeline. Seeing their faces warms my heart. Their laughter, shared humor and love is quite simply the best “Christmas lights” I could ever have to adorn my home. Even more, I have my sister’s constant “skype company” which sometimes includes joy-filled glimpses of the cutest and most beautiful niece anyone could have. Jillian is one of my best friends and has blessed my life with the sweetest “older-to-younger” sister relationship. I love her dearly and love how well we compliment each other. She has an awesome husband, an amazing brother-in-law. I love having another brother. And I am lavished to have an older brother, Trent. “The older brother” role is something I feel has a lot of weight. I am so glad he’s the one to fill it. In so many ways, I really don’t mind being the youngest. Having older siblings to look up to is quite an amazing things. And I cannot forget my lovely sister-in-law Marci. Marriage is so beautiful; it expands your family to include such amazing people. Marci is now my dear sister. And I love her mucho. Thank you for the grace of my family, Jesus—these and so many others: grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, in-laws, and the “adopted-in”.
My hometown, Spokane, is so dearly missed. The coffee shops, the friends, the familiar that still bears the name “home” for me, it’s all there in Spokane. I love my parents’ home, the place where I grew up, the memories and love that come with that territory. I love the “second homes” I had strewn about—the Brown’s house (Aunt Michele, Uncle Garrett, cousins Shea, Amanda, Teagan, Kelly, and Lukas). Amanda has been a long-time “bestie” who I will always hold near and dear—many a childhood memory of playtime, of junior high craziness and high school fun, of last-minute study sessions for college exams and long bus trips to and from school—she has been a beautiful companion. Calvary Spokane, too, has been like a home to me; so many amazing friends, and quite a remarkable “family” had developed there over the 12 years I called it my church. The list of people could go on and on: Mandy, whom I grew up with and love dearly, Collin, Keith, the Pollicks, the Nerrens… God, thank you for so many loved ones.
I am thankful for the plethora of amazing coffee shops that Spokane possesses and the many friends we have there “over the counter.” I have a deep respect for barista’s, particularly at local shops, for it seems they bear a lot of scrutiny for the service they provide. No excuses for bad service given, but everyone of them have a heart, a background, a story. And Danny and I both have found some sweet friends in many of them. Not to mention the impeccable coffee and food that many of our favorite shops claim. We miss them. But I am thankful for them.
God has been good to me. And I cannot forget to thank Him… for Him. For remaining zealous, persistent, and true, even when I fail to believe and trust. I am thankful that He’s given me, and everyone, the chance to know Him, and have life to the full. I am thankful the profound heart that He bears, that I am longing to truly know and love all the more. I am thankful that He remains sovereign no matter the craziness of life. I am thankful that He never gives up on me.
This is my tribute this Christmas. God is good.
the work in progress 